Christmas essentials --- mistletoe & wine --- wanky email Xmas-animated-greetings ?! : stop it, the campaign starts here

No more wanky email Xmas-animated-greetings please --- they're lazy + not `comedy' --- bah humbug :

Also --- those `12 days of Xmas' email tips.
STOP IT

Anyhow -- Merry Christmas darling : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dTzTMZx1qI

Best regards, Kx
http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef

Ziggy played guitar -- but only 'cause he'd lost his bugle

Ziggy played guitar --- but only because he'd forgotten his bugle ...

The bugle had been put safely in a cupboard somewhere -- along with that uncompleted Tax Return ?!
The deadline for submitting a paper-copy Tax Return has ended (on 31st Oct).
I'd be pleased to liaise with you to submit online to meet the 31st January deadline for online Tax Returns.

Best regards, Kx
Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef

Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pfCFU3Mqww

Ghoulish tax stuff giving you the Willies ?? --- Superhero Brighton Accountant to the rescue ...

Theres no need for your visit to an Accountant to be a Halloween type spooky experience.

I'd be thrilled to link-in on assistance to businesses & individuals.
My time-cost fee-levels at Superhero HQ could be restricted to support suitably groovy new start-up ventures --- + for established businesses realising this is the opportune time to consider a re-emphasis towards a compatible Accountant for your business hopes.

Best regards, Kx -- Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef

50 ways to leave your Lover : 2 ways to change your Accountant

I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free ...

In my role as your relationship-guru, I'm pleased to present guidance to Chaps on possible leave-your-Lover phrases :-
1. Would it bother you if a wore a nappy around the house and called you mummy ?
2. How can you be jealous of a farmyard animal ?
3. I cant stop thinking about your sister / mother ---- brother / dad.
4. I've checked our family trees and guess what ?---- we're cousins.
5. Yes, your bum looks huge in that,
6. Jesus wants me for a sunbeam,
7. I see dead people,
8. You know I said you were the woman of my dreams ? Well my alarm clock's just gone off,
9. I want to remember you just as you are now ----- leaving
10. Of course I still care about you -- didn't I promise to forward your mail ?
... etc

You're impressed by this blog and reckon it would be fab to change to a Superhero Accountant. But how to do so ??
1. You phone/write to non-Superhero Accountant [n-SA] and say `thanks for all your past assistance, but ...' . n-SA says how ungrateful you are + least you could do was come see them. So,
2. You make an appointment, go along and say `thanks ... but ...' . n-SA says how ungrateful you are + why waste their time when you could've phoned/written.
Conclusion : n-SA wants it to be awkward & a drama, even though they no longer cut-the-mustard.
Change is possible --- indeed I can assure you that when n-SA receives a message from a prospective new client that `I'm thinking of changing to you, is that OK?' -- they will be getting-out the special clients-only coffee/tea-cups & hob-nobs.

I shall be pleased to chat to you, Kx -- Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef

Tax Office updates Film Industry Guidance Notes on the application of PAYE and National Insurance contributions

HMRC have published an updated version of its guidance notes on the the application of PAYE and National Insurance contributions to non-permanent, casual and freelance workers in the film & television production industries.

The details are here : http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/specialist/film_industry.htm

 

A specialist niche in the wonderful world of Tax Assistance ... ---- but on-the-radar at Superhero Accountant HQ through our client-focus expertise in media production sectors.

 

Sending best regards

Kx -- Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef

Start a Company --- Registration of a straightforward Ltd Company for £18 fee

I'm mentioning that Companies House now offer the facility for registration of a new Limited Company for £18 fee. Go to Companies House website : http://www.companieshouse.gov.uk/ --- see top-left panel `Start a Company' and click-through to the guidance details on Web Incorporation Service.£18 fee to register online looks a terrific reduction in usual fee-costs incurred.

This is applicable for registration of straightforward Companies ---- but most new start-up Companies would be this straightforward structure.
For more complex structures, theres specialist help available through a company formation agent --- such as Brighton Formations : http://www.brightonformations.co.uk/

Accountants / Lawyers like to take-charge of dealing with the company registration --- for which accountants are likely to charge their time-cost fees from £150-£200 + VAT ---- lawyers time-costs rates are usually double those of accountants.
Not saying that accountants / lawyers are not `adding-value' in taking-charge of the process to Start a Company --- BUT --- wouldn't you prefer to connect with assistance from an accountant who makes you aware of the potential cost options & savings available ???

Best regards, Kx -- Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef

Look at Me : More popular than Jesus ---- attention-demanding Accountants ...

Look at Me ...

I view other Accountants' twitterings & blogs + am amazed that they find such large chunks of time during the working-day for lingering online. At Superhero Accountant HQ we focus on working extra-hard providing quality-expertise for efficiently time-managed fees-levels. I keep my online postings for evenings/early-mornings + weekends.

On those non-superhero Accountants' efforts to collect large numbers ot Twitterland friends --- I note the observation by comedian Sean Lock that Jesus only had 12 disciples following him; though his thoughts were of more substance than "had a bath; watched Sex & the City" ...

Anyhow --- signing off from Internet-world

Best regards, Kx -- Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef

They call it Stormy Monday,Tuesday looks just as bad ??

Fed up with Stormy Monday + not looking fwd to tmrw  ...  http://youtu.be/BCqEzfWrXfM

Crap start to the working-week ?? ---- well, its probs not helped by that dreary Accountant you seem to perservering with ... ??

I'd be pleased to assist.

Keith -- Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef
msge me on : 07952 297971

Monday-night sad-&-lonely Twitter-club
Its members only : http://youtu.be/-XU5dxAAfzs

Get down, Get with it ---- get a ticket to The Space for Noddy Holder & Muppets

Get down get with it : http://youtu.be/u7XEjl5GNS8

A stonkingly good event from The Space on 7th June at Komedia Brighton :
http://www.thespace.uk.com/
Noddy Holder plus Muppets producer guy Martin Baker
I thoroughly recommend The Space events for creative-community socialising in Brighton.

Also ---- I see The Space is hosting an event with Sir Alan Parker
at Duke of Yorks on Sunday 1st July afternoon.

Keith -- Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef

How does it feel ?? http://youtu.be/BRGvjsI2hvg

Love is the Drug ---- reporting from the frontline of internet dating world

Love is the Drug : http://youtu.be/0n3OepDn5GU

I've been `dipping my toe' into the world of internet dating.
The idea was ---- its May Festivaltime, I'll be attending events; maybe link-in with an elegant lady similarly attending concerts/exhibitions ...

Gosh this internet-dating lark is quite exhausting of time ---- somewhat addictive to keep lingering in internetland + not productive. Women message me for intense sexy-messaging --- sending photo-images of their boobage, or of someone's boobage --- msging for a couple of hours then just disappearing off ----- I guess girls just just wanna have a bit of online flirty-fun without meeting ----- or its a hairy-arsed security guy spicing-up the evening-shift by being sexy-starlet miss Trixie ...

One surreal msging exchange :---- we have moved on to txting because we are going to meet ----- I message suggesting meeting at Dome + going for `flirty-cocktails at MyHotel' ---- I receive a reply haranguing me "I think we maybe looking for different things ? Flirty cock & tails in your hotel room in all your messages! Sorry but ..." ----- true msge recd, I'm not making-this-up.

So --- I've been spending eves online responding in dating-world ----- + neglecting my Superhero duties in Twitterland saving the econonmy ...  I'm definitely stopping this + cancelling my profile ----- oh hang-on, miss Trixie has msged again ...

Kx -- Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef

How to chat up girls ----  ask her to contribute to your ear-bucket ?! :
http://youtu.be/hstPHM3R1dY

Hey World, here I ammmmmm...

Hey World, here I ammmmmm... : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7_pKkn3WD4

As we ease into new tax-year --- may I mention that I'd be thrilled to link-in on Superhero Accountancy & Tax assistance to businesses & individuals --- if Twitterland friends should hear of a potential contact ?

My time-cost fee-levels at Superhero HQ could be restricted to support suitably groovy new start-up ventures --- + for established businesses realising this is the opportune time to consider a re-emphasis towards a compatible Accountant for your business hopes.

You'd be doing me a favour by keeping any idle moments from turning towards mischief-making ?? : http://youtu.be/V5Rh7MyQ3Ek

Best regards, Kx -- Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef

Let the Good Times Roll : http://youtu.be/JbeI_ubX-d0

My perfect cousin ---- Sean, the hunky leather-clad superhero AA-breakdown biker

My perfect cousin : http://youtu.be/w0MCti-LBFg

This week --- arriving back at Superhero Accountants HQ from an afternoon seminar update in Accountancy & Audit ---- I told my colleagues to `go on ahead' while I lingered outside the building to make dreaming-eyes at a gorgeous leather-clad biker-guy ...Cue later office-gossip enquiries "Who was that ??" ---- well, my perfect cousin Sean.

The AA-recovery service is trialling having a guy tooled-up on a heavy-duty superbike, to be based in Brighton ---- rushing around keeping the roads clear from stranded folks and generally adding to the eye-candy ambiance in his AA-yellow splendour.

Sean is that guy ---- when he is not being AA-man he spends family-time with his lovely children, donates his `free-time' to be a volunteer emergency-despatch motorbike-guy getting vital life-or-death supplies to hospitals for operations ---- and sometimes even calls-in to help my mother with home-maintenance problems when she needs to `get a man in' (+ of course her feckless son is of no use ...).

So ---- if you see him around Brighton, give Sean a friendly wave ----- + hey bitch, keep yr flirty-hands-off my perfect cousin while he goes about his superhero tasks.

Keith -- Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef

No car or home repair skills whatsoever
---- a lifetime wasted on teenage kicks :
http://youtu.be/oskM5XD_Yc4

Get down, Get with it ---- get a ticket to The Space in early June, for Noddy Holder & Muppets

Get down, Get with it ---- get a ticket to The Space for Noddy Holder & Muppets

Get down get with it : http://youtu.be/u7XEjl5GNS8

A stonkingly good event from The Space on 7th June at Komedia Brighton :
http://www.thespace.uk.com/
Noddy Holder plus Muppets producer guy Martin Baker
I thoroughly recommend The Space events for creative-community socialising in Brighton.

Also ---- I see The Space is hosting an event with Sir Alan Parker
at Duke of Yorks on Sunday 1st July afternoon.

Keith -- Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef

How does it feel ?? http://youtu.be/BRGvjsI2hvg

Assisting Tutors & Coaches with disclosure of earnings to HMRC under Tax Catch Up Plan

The Tax Office had launched a `Tax Catch Up Plan' for Tutors & Coaches to disclose past years' undisclosed & untaxed Income & Gains. Tutors & Coaches may work in education, sport & leisure or music.The Tax Office website details are here : http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/ris/tcup/introduction.htm
The incentive to make a disclosure is the offered reduction in penalties by the Tax Office.

In essence, this is a voluntary disclosure opportunity; followed by Tax Office proposed enquiries towards those who have chosen not to disclose past untaxed earnings. The HMRC compliance strategy teams have collected information from the internet on those offering tutoring & coaching & music lessons etc. Also, my tutor-friends tell me that the Tax Office has written to schools/colleges requesting details of tutors, coaches, music-instructors/performers.

I have been assisting clients with this disclosure process ---- though the scheme is ending on 31st March..
If business-friends wish to contact me on finalising the disclosure process, I would help of course.

Sending best regards, Kx -- Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef
or message me on 07952 297971

Visiting the Accountant --- as horrid as trip to the Dentist ??

I have a horrid dental operation today [ I'll save the details for tmrw's blog ].
Realising that people perhaps regard visiting their Accountant with same trepidation as a trip to the Dentist ??
Its put-off as long as possible 'cause :-
its a dreary functional place & likely to be painful ?
in non-speaking role you have to just accept what you're told ?
plus its going to be expensive, but no idea how much ?

It doesn't have to be that way --- Superhero Accountant HQ is a lovely no-pressure artsy office to relax together while we chat generally + decide whats best financial-action for yr hopes ----- + how best to budget for settling anticipated tax & fees.

Searching for a dentist-link type video to highlight my message.
Alison Moyet lyrics offering "a warm injection to calm the pain" probs just sounds pervy ?! :
http://youtu.be/ApQXJ118-Ec

Sending best regards, Kx -- Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef
or message me on 07952 297971

50 ways to leave your Lover : 2 ways to change your Accountant

50 ways to leave your Lover : 2 ways to change your Accountant

I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTiyLuZOs1A

So the February Valentines Loved-Up vibe has somewhat faded ??
In my role as your relationship-guru, I'm pleased to present guidance to Chaps on possible leave-your-Lover phrases :-
1. Would it bother you if a wore a nappy around the house and called you mummy ?
2. How can you be jealous of a farmyard animal ?
3. I cant stop thinking about your sister / mother ---- brother / dad.
4. I've checked our family trees and guess what ?---- we're cousins.
5. Yes, your bum looks huge in that,
6. Jesus wants me for a sunbeam,
7. I see dead people,
8. You know I said you were the woman of my dreams ? Well my alarm clock's just gone off,
9. I want to remember you just as you are now ----- leaving
10. Of course I still care about you -- didn't I promise to forward your mail ?
... etc

You're impressed by this blog and reckon it would be fab to change to a Superhero Accountant. But how to do so ??
1. You phone/write to non-Superhero Accountant [n-SA] and say `thanks for all your past assistance, but ...' . n-SA says how ungrateful you are + least you could do was come see them. So,
2. You make an appointment, go along and say `thanks ... but ...' . n-SA says how ungrateful you are + why waste their time when you could've phoned/written.
Conclusion : n-SA wants it to be awkward & a drama, even though they no longer cut-the-mustard.
Change is possible --- indeed I can assure you that when n-SA receives a message from a prospective new client that `I'm thinking of changing to you, is that OK?' -- they will be getting-out the special clients-only coffee/tea-cups & hob-nobs.

I shall be pleased to chat to you, Kx -- Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef

Reach out, I'll be there : http://youtu.be/Ky5_WeQWfeY

Overdue Tax Returns : Ziggy played guitar --- but only because he'd forgotten his bugle

Ziggy played guitar : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sc8DF2eSCSY
but only because he'd forgotten his bugle :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mG58av3-ZOk
The bugle had been put safely in a cupboard somewhere -- along with info for that overdue Tax Return ?!

Some 2011 Tax Returns are still arriving on my office-desk ---- clients have been too work-focused to get their financial-info assembled up to January ----- plus the £100 31st Jan deadline penalty is not a significant reprimand for high-earning tax-payers.
Penalties become more painful from end of February onwards --- with penalty amounts based on %age of outstanding tax due http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/sa/deadlines-penalties.htm

I would be pleased to offer assistance to business-friends on finalising their personal Tax Returns --- or looking at any Tax Office enquiries arising from info submitted to meet the January deadline.

Best regards, AccyKeef
Twitter : https://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef
message me on 07952 297971

Superhero Accountant --- false-teeth in + blowing bugle like Arturo :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJrp9q8G3qk

Valentines to-do-list point 1 : dump that non-loving Accountant & get some Superhero-action onto your business team

Get those half-term late-stay-up children to bed NOW --- this is our time ...
Theres feelings I've been trying to hold back for soooo long :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Uj2wO4gsfM

Frankly darling, you've indulged that Accountant for too long : --- they never call ; their office/attire is shabby ; they're a drain on your efforts & finances ----- its time to move onwards.

Just reach out & I'll be there ?!  : http://youtu.be/2EaflX0MWRo

Kx --- Superhero Accountant
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef
Or message me on 07952 297971

Valentines Day L-O-V-E ---- hot-action ahead tnte with er, Hove Business Association exec-committee meet

Violets are blue, roses are red,
You'd look better, tied to my bed.
?!! ---- well -- whatcha expect -- a Shakespeare sonnet ?
Best wishes this Valentine's Day -- sending L-O-V-E : http://youtu.be/Jt6JQBQKiiQ

My romantic eve ahead ---- attending an exec-committee meeting of Hove Business Association : http://www.hovebiz.com/  ----- to present a financial report as treasurer --- racey stuff heh ??

Thats right ---- foresaking love, to stay focused in saving the UK economy
The loneliness & burden of being a Superhero Accountant : http://youtu.be/v8L3TCXsyX4

Sending best regards, Kx
Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef
or message me on 07952 297971

I've been thinking 'bout you baby : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOl9AC1XnVE

Tax Return deadline : Ziggy played guitar --- but only because he'd forgotten his bugle

Ziggy played guitar : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sc8DF2eSCSY
but only because he'd forgotten his bugle :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mG58av3-ZOk
The bugle had been put safely in a cupboard somewhere -- along with info for that uncompleted Tax Return ?!

Its into final 7-days lead-up to filing Tax Returns online by 31st January deadline :
http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/sa/deadlines-penalties.htm

Workload at Superhero Accountants HQ is very time-pressured --- we are now only assisting existing business-friends on their personal Tax Returns. Any Twitterland friends wishing for a bit of  guidance ---- I will of course try to assist if you get in touch (including weekend-working at office-desk) --- message me on 07952 297971
Best regards, AccyKeef
Twitter : https://twitter.com/#!/AccyKeef
Superhero Accountant --- false-teeth in + blowing bugle like Arturo :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJrp9q8G3qk